Every so often I get an unexpected reminder about the importance of family. On this particular occasion I was reminded when my aunt went to hospital and for whatever reason, no one on my side of the family visited her. She was only there for a few days and wasn't seriously ill, but chest pains and blood clots are scary enough.
So today we visited her. Two things happened. One, someone who is not my mum or a friend actually admitted that my dad could have done better with my brother and I. He missed out on both our childhoods by not fulfilling the basic responsibilities of a parent. He had the potential to be everything we needed in a dad and somehow he went down a path of selfishness and distance, not extremely so, but enough that our father's home has almost never been our home.
The second thing is that I realised how important it is to be around your family. This particular aunt always used to go on and on about going to see her and how much she misses my brother and I, but I could never find an excuse to go and see her. I've struggled with myself quite a bit as a teenager and I was more than happy to focus on myself and who I wanted to be and too easily forgot about my family. I was also too easily persuaded by some negativity around me not to bother going round because my aunty never bothered to pick me up instead of getting the bus.
My brother though, he's different. As my aunt pointed out, he picked himself up and visited her for no particular reason on his own accord. (He does the same with my granddad now, visiting him weekly which I never did with either grandparent while I was at home.) Looking back, getting the bus wasn't even a big deal. One bus and free travel, who cares if she has a car? My aunt thanked my brother for doing that and said she'll remember it until she dies. This made me emotional (a lot of things do). Why couldn't I be like that?
The older generations in my family are old. There'll be a time when they're not around any more and while I've known them (i.e. forever) all they've done is love and support me. Even the younger generation isn't safe from death, though it's unlikely. What if my aunt had been admitted into hospital and it had been more serious and she'd gone thinking I hadn't cared enough to visit her?
I don't think I'm the only one who's strayed away from family. The sentiment here is to love as you've been loved. To judge a person as they've shown themselves to you and not based on what others say about them. To remember your family while you're off living your life. A short phone call once in a while is enough to say, "Hey Aunty, I've been thinking about you, you matter to me."
With many thanks to a special friend who really doesn't care about me giving her credit for her feedback and encouragement, but you can have it anyway <3
