Well today was fun.
I had zero energy and dragged myself into work (late of course), then proceeded to interact with customers like I cared and colleagues trying not to bring the mood down. I like where I work, I just hate getting out of bed for it.
My moods go up and down a lot, but when I'm exhausted like I have been lately, it feels impossible to function. Standing up feels like a chore, as does sitting down, as does anything except being horizontal, somewhere soft. Even trying to get to sleep is draining, I'm often in pain and in the silence and darkness that I need to get to sleep, nothing can distract me from the sort of low, menacing throb in my bones.
Still, I can be a little bit proud of myself as I went to the gym after work and walked home. I felt immediately better after my work out, despite being a sweaty mess, and the only downside was that the gym was pretty busy so I didn't feel confident enough doing my stretches down there and went somewhere private. Silly really, but that's what my mind does sometimes.
Right now I'm absolutely exhausted again. The endorphins must have worn off but I guess it doesn't help being in bed. Being tired all the time is such a Catch 22, sometimes it feels like I'll never escape it and nothing will make me feel any better. But I'm hoping this is just a bad patch after overdoing it (how idk, by living maybe) and getting multiple cold/flu things that I can't shake off. Hopefully I can keep sleeping better and my body will find the strength to function properly.
Until then it's resting bitch face, constant yawning and a lot of willpower.
Kisses,
Antonia
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