An Expression

What's the allure

As attractive as it is repulsive

In season and raw 

Surface tensions and lesions 

No knowledge

Of the rot underneath

Tired lines and

Repeated fascinations

Taken as assurances

Of course, it's beautiful 

Magical, fleeting. 

Nothing lasts in this kingdom

Special Poetry Post!!!!

In the midst of all my au pairing adventures I got some great news regarding poetry hehehe

I´m so excited to tell you all that

I´M GETTING PUBLISHED!!!!

Really really! I´ve written poetry since I was small, 8 years old at most and this is my first time getting published in an actual book. I didn´t realise how special it was at first, my mum sent me a message and pictures of this letter from United Press and I was like okay I didn´t win the competition I entered in November, no biggie. And they want me to order their anthology okay. 

But then I actually read it properly and I´d gotten to the final stages of the competition so they wanted to publish me! I´m so happy! It was a little complicated sending the forms back to my mum seeing as we´re in different countries and there´s a one week deadline (bit harsh) but thank God for modern technology. I´m going to buy a few copies of the book, which includes work from other people and be sure to give one to my Grandad, who gave me my first notebook for anthologies.

The competition was a Local Poetry competition (details here, well kinda... not sure if the 2016 competition is still on the website) and you could write about anything provided it fit in with the theme. I sent two poems but this is the one that they liked the most:

A town of two sides, somewhere
Out of the way
A suburb, with trees and parks
A blur of green and a deep sigh
Of fresh air
I say London, it’s a lie
More Essex since TOWIE
But still a border town
A town of two worlds
Connected yet distant
With a bus that runs once an hour

But you’ll need your oyster card
Children run around 

Once released from
‘excellent’ establishments of education
Young energy in a town which 

makes me happy
A territory
With faces I recognise
Mine, and yours
Great for long walks
A lived in escape
From our neighbouring concrete jungle
Home.

The rights to the poem remain my own (of course)

It´s about the town where I´m from and its identity. Not sure if it´s my best work but I meant it. Congratulations to the winner!

So thank you to everyone who supported me writing that particular poem (Mummy, Alice, Roz, Elaine, even Michael, maybe the volunteers who I may have forced to read it) and everyone who has ever supported my writing ever!

One excited published poet,

Antonia xxx

Falter

Breathing stops with concentration 
A body which lacks the capacity for both 
She realises
A deep sigh
Focus. 
A breath with each stroke
Both are jagged and imperfect

Choose. 
An air without the sharp coolness she craves
Or bold colours layered and sickly 
Which the eye cannot seperate
Which almost distract from the bleakness underneath

She despises each one of her creations 
Never sufficient energy to devote to them
Nor sufficient happiness to avoid them

Storm

Calamitous whirlwind

Fierce winds attacking all that I love

Blown from a place of entitled resentment

Of fear and obsession

Of unwillingness or inability to adapt.

Catastrophic passage of time

Rapid unchangeable, unchanging

And yet unforeseen sequences

With consequences that rip souls apart

Debris covers all things

Nothing is spared.

The absolute absence of compassion

Superfluity of useless or poisonous words

Of malevolent thoughts

And ultimately nothing of any value remains:

Implosion.

We paint it with gold

With promise, desire and anticipation

Paint is no preservative

To avoid the rotting underneath.

Rot cannot be reversed

Nothing fresh springs forth anew

It can only aid something else, something more deserving

It’s time will come.

(Also published on https://essexwriterscircle.wordpress.com. I am the author of this work.)

Past.

Tortured soul

I loved you once

Purely and wholly

Your sorrow destroyed me.

I love you now

Cruelly and poorly

Your distance astounding

I am to blame.