Amsterdam! 3

How can 10 days feel like 3 also feel like 30? 

People. People creep into your life and make your experiences seem important and give you something to miss besides canals and ham and cheese toasties. 

I met some cooooool people in Amsterdam, well Noordwijk some town like 30 miles away and even though I didn't visit half the stuff I thought I would, my bank account is empty and I need to be in a bath for about 12 years, I don't regret the holiday. 

I'm scared this post is gonna get super emotional haha. I don't want it to be but I also didn't want to make any kind of relationship with anyone else at the start of my gap year. But I've laughed so much with a bunch of crazy strangers that that wish seems a bit silly now. And so many of my friends and family back home have been messaging me that even though I feel a bit disconnected to the world, I'm definitely still part of it. 

I dunno, it was just a holiday and it's not that brave to go to a city where everyone speaks English and the climate and culture really similar, but it was brave for me.

1. For one I travelled with a friend who is the chalk to my cheese half the time and the light of my life the next. Our physical, mental and audible space sharing wasn't without its problems (she sings as she walks for example) but she was also the best person to be with because she's smart, lovely, friendly and up for a laugh. When she's not eternally "resting"... 

2. We were in the first hostel for 3 days and didn't really notice the people coming and going, though we were friendly with some girls in our dorm. When you stay at a hostel for a week you actually have to see the same faces for a while and people notice that you're there, especially if the hostel is the main hang out, so you have to be nice and chatty and stuff and this meant occasionally being called "soooo rude" because people don't understand the charm of Princess Antonia. ;)

3. I always showered first except one day where my mate actually got her lazy arse out of bed before me. 

4. You had to travel for at least half an hour to buy weed.

That's it really. I'm gonna get a lot of questions and curiosity about my holiday but it was just like hanging out with some friends in a pretty town for a few days. Going back to work shouldn't be tooooo hard but it's gonna be different actually having to socialise before 10:15 (this is when I went down for breakfast because it finished at 10:30).

Here are some pictures of human beings:

And other stuff:

Peace xxx

Au Pair Experience: Holidays, Disasters and Settling Back In

Holiday:

The holiday was amazing! I had loads of people from here in Catalonia helping me to pick places to go which was so useful because there are so many great things to see. I'm still not going to go into too much detail because each post is taking me longer and longer to write, but we saw a lot of things and did as much as we could! I was pretty excited by everything and thought it pained me to plan so much, lead so much of the time and hear my mum thanking every shop assistant in English, it was wonderful. Seeing my family after a month was lovely and grounding, sometimes it's hard to remember that this is actually my life now. (This is the first year since I started school that I've not been in formal education, after all, it's a little hard to know what to do with myself.)

Disasters:

The disasters stemmed from actually needed to go home after a holiday. First, because something just had to go wrong, my mum had booked tickets back to England for her and my brother on the 22nd of MARCH. She'd been wondering why she wasn't able to check in but instead of double checking her booking she just thought it was RyainAir being its shit self. And it kind of was, it automatically changes the month of your return and it's an easy mistake to make. But, there are lots of chances to confirm that all your details are correct and it was so stressful changing it the day before that I probably did it the most expensive way. 

I also had my own disaster getting home. There's one coach in the morning to my city from Barcelona at 9am and the next one isn't until 4pm, so I couldn't afford to miss it. But of course I did. It was hell getting home. Honestly, I've never been so stuck in my life. What would've been a 2 and a half hour journey took *6 hours*. I'm not even gonna go into it, just the bus station in Lleida is the worst thing I've ever seen and I need to get back to London Victoria!

My third disaster ended up with homemade pizza so maybe it's not such a disaster but it was so embarrassing. Basically, I went out to meet our baldy beardy friend, then obviously afterwards, I went home. Well, because life is hard or bad things come in 3s or just because, when I went to open the door to the building, the key wouldn't turn. So, that doesn't mean I'm instantly banished to the streets for the night does it? Well, when its 2am, you panic and you don't want to wake up your host family, you kind of banish yourself to the streets. Orrrrr to a friend's house, after sending your host family a massive paragraph on WhatsApp explaining where you'll be and that you'll return at 8am to do your job. Guys, if this ever happens to you, just call your host family at 2am and sleep in your own bed. Even if there might be pizza, you might also look a bit silly

Settling in:

Anyway, I was actually excited to be back with the Trillas. I'd missed them in 5 short days and most of the information I'd been spouting about Barcelona had come from them. Perhaps this excitement dampened a little when I found out the kids hadn't done anything at all in English, let alone the homework I set them. 

However, it was probably a welcome break for us all. I haven't really been tracking our progress, but it's not like at the beginning where learning a new word or phrase is a big accomplishment. It kind of gets added to the list now and there's always so much more to learn. I'm still proud of everyone of course, but it's become routine now and learning languages is tiring!

Still, Roger and I ended the week playing card games which was really fun so I'm going to focus more on playing games and less on teaching. I think because I'm more confident with academic stuff, I fall into this pattern of teaching and instructing when really we should be playing. We can play verbal games at mealtimes and more physical games during free time. Yeah, I'm thinking out loud here.

Other stuff: 

I've been reading so I'm going to do another book review soon and read some more to see what else I can write about. Things are a bit different now because I have a few friends and spend less time by myself thinking about the differences between here and home, but I miss making posts every day! I'm also going home in mid-March so I'm trying to make the best of everything while I'm here. Still, I might not have much of a job when I get home as there are new staff and less hours that need filling so you might hear more from me!

Until next time,
Antonia xx

Kitty Special!

Depression is a funny thing. It´s really hit me this week, making everything seem extra annoying or negative. I can be happy for a while, but I can´t shake the feeling of some impending doom or generally wishing I was curled up in bed, away from the world.

This is why I´m making a special kitty blog post. As you may or may not know, I have a beautiful kitten called Bobbi. She´s really made me happy since I got her and given me a reason to get up on mornings when I don´t want to. I mean, she climbs into my bed and when she´s had enough of cuddles she annoys me until I get up and feed her or play with her or basically do whatever she commands.

Because who doesn´t want to wake up next to a
grumpy cat-monster sharing your pillow?!

I have less than three weeks until I go back home and I cannot wait to see my little fluff ball! I´ve probably shown pictures of her to everyone I´ve ever met, which thinking about it may make me a little obsessed. But she´s cute (and also my pet) so it´s okay!So if you´ve missed Snapchats of her, here´s something to make up for it:

Artsy photoshoot

Eventually I convinced her to let go

Apparently watching my mum sleep

That time we left her at my dad´s and her eyes changed colour

Totally appreciates the ball I bought her in Spain

Maybe I should´ve saved this for Tumblr?

Here vs There

So, if you don´t know already, this post is going to be one about the differences about things here and back home in sunny England. I really haven´t decided where I prefer, and seeing as I really haven´t explored that much of England, let alone the UK as a whole (London, Essex, Brighton and Hove, Cardiff, Loughborough, Leicester... Devon as a child, not sure I´ve actually been anywhere else!), and it does actually rain here, it wouldn´t be fair to make that kind of judgement yet.

Let´s start with stuff I prefer here:

1. Pace of life
2. Prices (in Balaguer things are actually cheap, in bigger cities this is mostly due to the exchange rate)
3. Less fear of having your stuff stolen (this definitely only applies to Balaguer and the villages I've been to. In the cities I am so careful of my stuff that drives me slightly insane)

And stuff I prefer in the UK... (might only apply to London)

1. Personal space (and the fact that people will move out of your way in the street instead of doing their best to walk into you or force you to swerve. I'm not even being dramatic!)
2. Ability to buy hair extensions!! (Check the post before this one to see the struggle of buying hair extensions)
3. Walking pace (Sometimes you actually want to go somewhere and need to walk at more than 0.0001 mph)

And here´s some stuff that´s just different:

1. People don´t have passwords on their phones! (I have struggled not to take advantage of this)
2. Please and thank you aren´t that important (if you want to be polite to someone you know, just make sure you speak nicely. Passing someone the salt isn't going to win you a plaque in your honour)
3. There´s dog shit everywhere (it's as if most people actually consider the pavement a toilet for their dogs. Thankfully, this wasn't the case in Barcelona)

Here are somethings I wanted to talk about in a tiny bit more detail. This post is a lot to write easier having been to Barcelona and spent time with my own family, as I've noticed what they've found hard to adjust to and they've picked up on some differences to!

Weather:

Of course I prefer the weather here than in London! It does rain (shock horror) but it's not the incessant, depressing mess of English weather that I'm used to. The sun shines. It's also cold and sometimes windy, so I'm not sitting on the beach tanning like I was in Valencia, but it makes getting out of bed in the morning much easier.

Buying drugs:

Well, that escalated quickly! Okay, so I don't know anything about where you can get your coke fix, but if you want some hardcore paracetamol, don't go to the supermarket. You have to buy drugs in the pharmacy and you can get more in one go than you'd get in England. They're bigger too, so you don't have to take two to feel like your headache might've got better. I prefer Barcelona for this, buying basic medication along with your bread and milk is all well and good, but if you're like me it's worth it to stock up and that's hard to do when you're limited to 16 tablets.

Everyone wants to sell you something:

This got pretty jarring pretty quickly. Cries of "selfie" "cheap price" will interrupt your conversations, meals and strolls along the beach. Some of them will push it, try to convince you to buy it by staying near you which is uncomfortable but I've never felt an urge to pay them just so they'll go away. The guys selling flowers are the most likely to interrupt your meal so if you're on a date, sit inside for a better chance of being left alone. Definitely prefer London in this case. No one's gonna try to get you to buy their stuff unless you're on a market or passing a promotional stall in a shopping centre.

Begging:

Homelessness looks absolutely pitiful in Barcelona, as it is in too many big cities. I found myself giving people a bit of change or food if I had it, but not to the people that actively begged. I don't know if this is bad, that people will come up to you and ask for money or sit on the street and wail "ayudame por favor" but something in me wanted to avoid those people. In London people beg too, but you occasionally get someone discreetly asking you for change rather than wailing on the street. In this case I prefer London because it's convenient that you can walk by and pretend you haven't noticed someone in need. But both cities need to do more to help people with nowhere to live. These are global capitals. There's no excuse. 

Museums:

Make the most of the free museums in London! And join any campaigns to keep admission free because it's really worth it. That being said, the museums in Barcelona were beautiful and I didn't feel too bad paying an entrance fee. Getting into the Picasso Museum was free because I'm at university but I was blown away by it, so paying wouldn't have been so bad. Anyway, the reason I prefer London in this case is because you can see as much or as little of as many or as little museums as you want, without feeling like it wasn't worth it because you couldn't see asmuch as you wanted. Basically, there are a lot of museums in the city and its hard to fit them all in.

Transport:

The underground system is definitely better in Barcelona. You can use your mobile, there's more space and the trains  come at least every 3 minutes (if there's not a strike!). Of course, London's system is the oldest I the world, but you would've thought they'd have modernised by now for the the price of it. However, I don't know if Barcelona's Metro stretches as far and wide as London's and the buses are apparently better there too. 

*If you have any questions or are curious about other things then feel free to comment or message me privately and I'll talk about it in the next post!*

Thanks for reading!

Until next time,

Antonia xx

Cooking Disasters and Siestas (Au Pair Experience, Día Cinco)

The title is misleading because I'm going to start with the siesta. Basically woke up, took the kids to school and crashed. I said I'd take G's gymnastics kit to school before 11 but at 10 I was fast asleep. An "Antonia?" from S woke me right up and it was fine, she took the kit and I wasn't late but I was so embarrassed. How could I pass out after being awake for an hour and half?! Soon after she left I forced myself into the shower and after yawning about 15 times got dressed and sorted out my room. It was getting a little messy (the real me was coming out).

Once I was done with that it was time to cook lunch (here comes the disaster). It was rice with tomato sauce and fried eggs, then burgers, bread and oil. Nothing was really hard apart from the rice omg. Anyone who's ever eaten something I've cooked knows I struggle with cooking. I can cook but cooking rice in a pot is my sworn enemy. I always get it stuck on the bottom with a massive burnt patch that takes 12 years to scrape off and it's wet despite also burning. I added some oil to try and avoid this but this is obviously my destiny. So I panicked and made another batch in the microwave that was a bit hard but better than the sticky wet thing. Well done me.

I warned G when I picked her up from school, that there were two types of rice: malo y bueno. But when we got back and I asked her which one she wanted she said the sticky wet stuff. I nearly cried with joy. I didn't have to put a whole pot of rice in the bin! And I even managed to clean the pot before S came back downstairs. The only bad thing is because it was actually edible I'll have to go through this every week.

Also I need one of those toy tills you have as a toddler to practise with Euro change. I misunderstand the price every time and look like a noob 💀

Mushrooms and Abuelos (Au Pair Experience, Día Dos, Part Two)

Spanglish is my favourite language right now. So many Spanglish conversations, so little concentration...

So yes this is part dos of my second day blogging effort. I'm going to do a list thing for ease and... Ease. (It's late and I should be asleep.) Today was another jam-packed day...

1. Woke up. Showered upstairs. Missed R's football match. Family came back just before I'd brushed my teeth. Greeted everyone with bad breath and a toothbrush
2. Ate breakfast. Had a café solo (an espresso, bit bigger than those shot things from Costa). Coffee was not enough. Biscuit. Tried to figure out if grúa and crane are the same thing with host mum plus lots of confusion (they are).  No time for make up before we leave (¡qué horror!)
3. Walk around town. Through market. See police and ask why they're directing traffic. See more police and ask if I need my passport (no). Walk up this hill to a historic wall that was built to keep the Moors out. Walk up about 5 million stairs to get great views of town: 
   
4. Didn't pass out but might. Walk up more steps to visit church. Humbled so no pics inside. Try not to lose my hat in the wind. Walk down 500 steps to a regenerated part of town that was never finished because the money ran out. La vida es dura 
5. Family lunch. Abuelo, abuela, tia, primo and the family I'm staying with. Abuelo is deaf but impressed with my Spanish (related?). Abuelo speaks too fast. Cosy fire. Good food except the aubergines that taste like cigarettes (still finished it but never trying it again) 
   
6. Get asked my political opinion(!!) on the EU in/out referendum for the UK. Explain that our government gives no fucks about human rights or other people so we should stay in but yes the Euro is shit. Approving nods once I got it all out
7. Abuela asks about my hair. I explain in DETAIL. Ask if I can touch her hair. Yes. Try to undo her hair. No. Oops.
8. Go mushroom picking in the forest with tia and the kids. Find two edible mushrooms.
   
   Walk around with sticks like we're Gandalf.  Surprise pig farm. Host dad owns it. Permanent confusion on my face. Pigs are cute but smell awful. Lovely day with host family. Feel at home if a little overwhelmed.
9. Supermarket. Discreetly purchase lady things (tampons, pads, perfume, hand cream - not sure if allergic to soap or water but need to cream my hands every time I wash them!) with host mum and G while R asks me what type of soy milk I like (?? Soy? Clasíco? Normal?)
10. Home. Wait ages for dinner. It's Saturday. 10pm. Nice spread, another family almost clones of my host family but more fluency in English. G has a stomach ache. We eat. I have dessert with the grown ups (cheese and this kind of pear jam) and try not to be drunk off a finger of red wine. Play games with children. Decline gin and tonic offer. Bid all goodnight
11. Call mummy for an hour. Happy. Recommends I go to doctor about intense ear head and neck pains when landing plane. Love is shared. Life is the same at home. Should've bought more cat litter before I left not just ordered it from Amazon. Tesco isn't far!

Until next time chicos,

Antonia xx

Tis The Season to be Exhausted Falalafucklalala

Totally in the Christmas spirit as you can see.

As of yet I haven't bought my mum a Christmas present (I don't think she reads this, God help me if she does) and my brother's is on hold because I'm helping him out with his car insurance (yeah, I'm the best big sister ever.) My aunties have the same presents and I know they're gonna discuss it and I'm gonna be the worst niece ever but I got my cousin something she'll love (no giveaways) and I bought that in September so I have something to be proud of!

Aside from presents I'm working non-stop until Christmas Eve which is going to make Christmas Day excruciating as I'll want it to be a rest day but it's the most wonderful time of the year! No? Picking family members up, entertaining them and then dropping them home is going to be anxiety-inducing and just plain tiring but hey-ho at least I expect it. Boxing Day is more family time and I'll be avoiding the shops with such determined passion it'll be like I hate capitalism or something! :D

I have a week off where I'm gonna try and catch my friends who are back from Canada and Spain (but not Nigeria) before working again and then packing for my Spanish au pair experience woop woop! I just feel like everyone wants a piece of me and I have nothing to give. Honestly I need to do some serious planning, pacing and sleeping for that to go well. Life is going good at the moment and I'd like it to stay that way. Also got to remember to lay off the sugar as my energy dips but that's one of my biggest weaknesses! (Tip: Regularly drinking green tea reduces bloating!)

Also my kitten is really demanding at the moment it's a bit weird idk.

So to everyone, look out for your exhausted friends and family members, and spare a thought for those who can't keep up whether it's financially, physically or emotionally.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all, though I may or may not see you before then.

Love and hugs xxx

When it's easier to be a feminist in winter

Sun on my skin,

Wind through my hair

💁🏾☀️💨

Forgot to shave my underarms...

Fuck.